Expectations of Management
All be clear with what management expects...
Sunday, January 16, 2011
What is appraisal?
What is appraisal?
Is it like working hard full year & finding yourself at
the same position where you started???
How Projects Really Work
Project life-cycle - How Projects Really Work
How the customer explained it
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How the project leader understood it
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How the analyst designed it
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How the programmer wrote it
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What the beta testers received
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How the business consultant described it
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How the project was documented
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What operations installed
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How the customer was billed
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How it was supported
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What marketing advertised
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How it performed under load
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How patches were applied
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What the customer really needed
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The Open Source version
The Top Ten Ways Workers Waste Time Online
The Top Ten Ways Workers Waste Time Online
1. Social Networks – 1.24 hr/week
Social networking has come to dominate Internet use. Facebook alone has more than 500 million unique visitors per month, representing 85% of all social media use. According to the company’s site, users spend more than 700 billion minutes per month on Facebook. One would assume that some of those minutes have to be from work. Nucleus Research, an IT research firm, found that 77% of employees who have access to Facebook from work check it at least once a day. Of course, other large and fast-growing social media sites such as Twitter also contribute to the loss in productivity.
2. Online Games – 0.56 hr/week
The popularity of online games has increased and is now only second to social networking. Employees visit gaming sites to play basic arcade games, online poker and Scrabble. However, part of the popularity of online games may be due to the growing usage of social networks. Zynga, one of the most popular online game companies, owes much of its success to the fact that its games, including the huge hit Farmville, are promoted through Facebook. According to the game’s Facebook page, Farmville has more than 62 million active users.
3. E-mail – 0.45 hr/week
Once the primary means of online communication, e-mail has become less popular, dropping from 11.5% of what people do online to 8.3% in the past year. Social networking, once again, has begun to show its face, becoming a more popular way to keep in touch for many people. Of course, given how much American businessrelies on e-mail communication, dropping a personal e-mail during working hours will never go completely out of style.
4. Portals – 0.24 hr/week
Portals, which constitute 4.4% of users’ online time, underwent a double-digit decline in time share from one year ago. Still, they are the fourth most heavily used online resource. This means that people still rely heavily on sites such as AOL, Yahoo!, and MSNBC as their gateway to the Web. Given that so many people use e-mail accounts provided by one of these providers, it suggests that this number has at least one reason to remain somewhat constant.
5. Instant Messaging – 0.22 hr/week
Instant Messaging is another activity that has likely decreased in popularity as a result of social networking. Sites that combine communication with other services naturally do better, even though simple messaging maintains some workers’ interest. Another reason for the decrease may be the ubiquity of texting via cell phones.
6. Fantasy Football – 0.12 hr/week (during season)
Fantasy football has quickly become a national obsession, and during football season there is almost nothing employers can do to keep participants’ attention from it. The hobby, which requires at least an hour’s worth of attention every week, undoubtedly adds a certain amount of drag to many businesses. According to some reports, fantasy football caused $9 billion in lost productivity in 2009 alone.
7. Pornography – 0.13 hr/week
Although it is shocking, a 2010 Nielsen study found that 29% of workers have looked at pornography while at work. That number, which amounts to 21 million Americans, suggests that more people are spending time looking at “adult content” while at work than they are reading about current events. In support of these extreme numbers, the study found that 70% of all pornography traffic occurs between 9am and 5pm. What is the average amount of time each of these workers spends on adult websites per session? 12 minutes and 38 seconds.
8. Videos/Movies – 0.21 hr/week
Online interest in videos and movies is growing, with the number of U.S. videos streamed reaching nearly 10 billion in August. A significant portion of those views are attributable to Google’s YouTube, the 3rd most visited site on the Web. According to comScore, more than 161 million people watched an average of 157 videos in August. The average online viewer watched 9.7 hours during that time. The average duration of videos was 3.7 minutes.
9. Search – 0.19 hr/week
Although Google has more users than any other website, the amount of time spent searching is relatively low. That fact remains true during work hours, where the time spent searching is also relatively low compared to other more popular online activities. Still, the amount of money lost to time spent on personal searches isestimated by sources to be significant. According to a study by RescueTime, when Google replaced its home page logo with Pac-Man – the playable version of the classic game – earlier this year, it cost the economy a total of 4,819,352 hours of productivity, which researchers estimated was worth over $120 billion in potential productivity.
10. Online Shopping – 0.15 hr/week
Online shopping, while not everyone’s vice, can drain workers’ productivity. Sites such as Amazon and Ebay are extremely popular, and often take priority at work. This is even more evident around the holiday season. In 2009, IT information association ISACA estimated that the average employee would spend 14.4 hours shopping from the office around the holidays.
-Charles B. Stockdale, Douglas A. McIntyre
It's not difficult to make a woman happy
It's not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A psychologist
15. A pest exterminator
16. A psychiatrist
17. A healer
18. A good listener
19. An organizer
20. A good father
21. Very clean
22. Sympathetic
23. Athletic
24. Warm
25. Attentive
26. Gallant
27. Intelligent
28. Funny
29. Creative
30. Tender
31. Strong
32. Understanding
33. Tolerant
34. Prudent
35. Ambitious
36. Capable
37. Courageous
38. Determined
39. True
40. Dependable
41. Passionate
42. Compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
43. Give her compliments regularly
44. Love shopping
45. Be honest
46. Be very rich
47. Not stress her out
48. Not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
49. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
50. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
51. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
52. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
Now,
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Leave him alone.....
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Softwareism
Chandrababuism: You have two cows in Vijayawada. You hook them to internet and milk them from Hyderabad.
Jayalalithaism: You have two cows. You teach them to cry,"Ammaaaaaaa..." and fall at your feet.
Karunanidhiism: You have two cows. You give one to your son and the other to your nephew ...
Gandhism: You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk.
Indiraism: You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows.
Lalooism: You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattlefeed for them.
Rajnikantism: You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth.
Rajivism: You have two cows. You paint them both to get colourful milk.
Softwarism:
Client has 2 cows and u need to milk them.
1 . First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off)
2 . Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan)
3 . Then prepare how to milk them (Design)
4 . Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them (Framework)
5 . Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client the way in which u will milk them (UI Mockups & POC)
6 . If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2
7. You actually start milking them and find that there are few problem with accessories. (Change framework)
8 . Redo step 4
9 . At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over)
10. Make sure that cow milks properly ( Testing)
11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there.
12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls
13. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing)
14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test)
15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk
16. Now the client says that the quality is good but its milking at slow rate (performance issue)
17. Again you slog and send it with good performance.
18. Client is happy??? By this time both the COWs aged and cant milk. (The software got old and get ready for next release repeat from step 1) !!!!!
Jayalalithaism: You have two cows. You teach them to cry,"Ammaaaaaaa..." and fall at your feet.
Karunanidhiism: You have two cows. You give one to your son and the other to your nephew ...
Gandhism: You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk.
Indiraism: You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows.
Lalooism: You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattlefeed for them.
Rajnikantism: You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth.
Rajivism: You have two cows. You paint them both to get colourful milk.
Softwarism:
Client has 2 cows and u need to milk them.
1 . First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off)
2 . Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan)
3 . Then prepare how to milk them (Design)
4 . Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them (Framework)
5 . Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client the way in which u will milk them (UI Mockups & POC)
6 . If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2
7. You actually start milking them and find that there are few problem with accessories. (Change framework)
8 . Redo step 4
9 . At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over)
10. Make sure that cow milks properly ( Testing)
11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there.
12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls
13. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing)
14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test)
15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk
16. Now the client says that the quality is good but its milking at slow rate (performance issue)
17. Again you slog and send it with good performance.
18. Client is happy??? By this time both the COWs aged and cant milk. (The software got old and get ready for next release repeat from step 1) !!!!!
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